In Reply to Your Emails

I have been hearing from you since my last post, seems I ruffled a few feathers. Thank you for writing, I do appreciate it.

It seems we are divided by gender on the issue of the sexless affair, Keeping Affairs to Yourself. Males seem to believe it is all “fair play” and “harmless flirting” in the absence of sex. Females are prone to believe that “from the time (your partner) starts calling (the other person) first thing in the morning and last thing at night, it’s time for the earrings to come off and the (tool used for weeding) to get beat down”. That was, by the way, one of the best emails I have ever received.

But one person did raise a great point in the form of a question (worth $500 on Jeopardy). Was I “trying to suggest there’s no such thing as a platonic friend?” I was not at all. (Shame on you!) But since you brought it up, let’s address it, shall we?

Usually the person you are dating is smarter than you give them credit for.
Unfortunately, not always, but usually…
That means we usually know the difference between your genuine platonic friend and your pretend platonic friend, that you’re secretly hoping to get lucky with. That’s right, we sure do. Real platonic friends are the best. These are encouraged. But the fakers have got to go.
One of my friends described the platonic friend as “what happens when someone likes you but they are unattractive”. Laughter aside, it is possible to have friends of any sex that are really just your friends. Some of them always have been and always will be. We can’t say the same for our romantic partners. Therefore it’s important not to let your past romantic relationships interfere with your current relationship. And as long as you keep things on the up and up, they shouldn’t. But Chris Rock said (I’m paraphrasing and deleting the expletives), the platonic friend is really a back-up plan, the ‘break glass in case of emergency’ option for when your current relationship fails. If this is closer to your description, then you may have issues in the future. And that’s all I’m saying about that.

To those of you who “love the blog”, who are “inspired”, “tickled pink”, “ROTFLOL” or are even “not sure what to say in the comments because it left (you) so emotional”, thank you.

To the one guy who thinks I wrote ‘Breaking –up beautifully. 10 Easy Steps’ just for you, I did. Glad things went smoothly. (Glad for you that is, not her.)

And to everyone who follows, officially or unofficially, keep reading, keep sharing and keep loving out loud.

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Laugh loud, love hard and live in the sunshine.

3 thoughts on “In Reply to Your Emails”

  1. So, let's say I have this truly platonic friend, and let's say i'm over by this friend's house, chilling out in the front watching tv while my friend is in the shower (we're going to catch a movie you see, my partner had to travel for business but is well aware of the platonic relationship and is totally cool about it), they come out of the shower with their towel tightly wrapped, or so they thought, they have to go to the laundry room to pick up fresh undies, but they have to pass the front area where i'm watching tv, so they run past, grab the undies, and as they run back they stumble and the damn towels dislodges and falls to the ground, and i see, well, stuff… everyone's embarrassed, we have a nervous laugh about the whole thing but I can't get that image out of my head and start to see the person 'differently'… what do i do? Are they no longer platonic? Do I fire my friend?


  2. Please don't fire your friend but you've crossed a delicate line and should probably avoid future movie nights for two. (Popcorn doesn't count as a third friend.) What you should do is discuss it. The towel drop may really have been accidental, or it may have been an invitation, either way, you should know were you stand. Proceed with caution. And before you share this story with your travelling partner, you may want to review my earlier post “Con in our Conversation”…


  3. i haven't crossed a line, the towel did… lol… but thanks, wasn't planning to fire them anyway. No it wasn't an invitation, but i am not gonna lie, i so want to crash that party and devour all the goodies and behave myself in ways that would make headlines the following day, but i will attend my partner's party instead, where i'm always invited! Share this story with my travelling partner… you are hilarious. Keep up the sometimes naughty but good work.


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