Missed me? I missed you too. (Assuming you said yes, not that there’s any other answer). I was sick for a bit and didn’t write. (Apologies). But what I did do and I did lots of it I might add, is watch. World news, local news, sitcoms, series and movies. The tragic, the gory, the funny, the sorrowful and the strange. I watched it all. Observing helps you to see things from another view. While you have been busy throwing yourself a pity party for one, the world kept spinning and things kept happening. And do you know what that means? It is not only about you.
Ok, I just lost half of you. But if you are still reading, first of all thanks and now let me explain.
Unemployment is lonely. It is something you have to endure alone. While others will help in every and any way they can (when you let them), you alone bear the burden. Being laid off with a group of former colleagues will not make it any less lonely either, because although the next person may understand what not working is like, your financial, spiritual and emotional situation is unique and efforts to help may only further isolate you. Still, if you have group support as an option, take it.
In that loneliness, it is easy to become a bit self-absorbed, thinking only of yourself and your current situation. They did you wrong. What happened was not fair. How can that dimwit still have a job and you, with twice the brain and three times the effort have none? I know. I get how you feel.
This, while being part of the process, is an unproductive part of the process, so the faster you can get past this stage, the better. Don’t skip it altogether though, venting and a good old fashioned cry have their place. Just don’t stay in that mode for a year. You’ll miss a lot.
Keep it in perspective and focus on the positive. Did you sigh, roll your eyes and shake your head? Yeah, I did too. Everyone says this and all you think to yourself is, ‘they don’t get it’. It may seem that way but actually, those ‘accentuate the positive’ people, do get it and they are right. Watched the news recently? I dare you to take in an hour and not cry. Earthquakes, flooding, murders, accidents, people homeless and hungry. It’s dismal and it’s everywhere and all around. But unless it is your current reality, (which if you are on a computer and online and reading a blog, I doubt it is), you have already got a lot to be grateful for.
If you can read this, you have got electricity. It’s a bit leaky but there’s a roof over your head. The rug may be worn but there is a floor under your feet. Your beef is of the corned variety and your tuna came from a can, but if you ate a meal today, no matter how small, you did better than more than 1.2 billion others. I can keep going but that would defeat the purpose. Make your own list.
Take 5 minutes when you’re feeling a bit low and write a list of all the things you are grateful for. Keep it for the day but not longer. This way you can change it up and write different things. It can be basic (food), broad (the ocean), simple (spouse), or trivial (my shoe collection), be grateful.
Still don’t feel like smiling today? That’s ok. Grumpy is part of the process too. But before you get carried away and throw yourself a permanent pity party, I’d like to point out that you are unemployed, not dead and life is good. Keep living.